A week ago we had a fight that turned really messy resulting in him breaking up with me. AND STILL SHE SAYS I DONT GET IT, SHE SAYS IM NOT UNDERSTANDING! Long story short my husband suffered from sever depression and I stuck with him thru thick and thin. I dont know what to do. We dont get a long most of the time, we argue because he can discipline my kids but I cant even look at his the wrong way without it being a diaster. Since Im Brazilian we decided to have our little ceremony there with my friends and family and his parents and sister, and having a second party here in Canada for his family and friends afterwards. So one day after I did his hair. I want him to talk to his boss. We had a one night stand and he got me pregnant on purpose!! . Neither of us have a history of cheating or doing such thing. I dont know if your fiance just has cold feet or what. I wanted our family to work too. He broke up with me and he has gone back and forth with me for the last year. Any advice or suggestions will be very welcomed and acceped. You are a good-hearted person and you hate to see someone suffer. My life is at a stagnant and it depresses me because everyone around me is in a serious relationship or married and Im always stuck in the same place. My husband walked back to his side of the car, got in & we drove away. Hi Sean, About 4 months ago we decided to try a separation but couldnt stay away. When you love someone with your entire being, it will hurt to the point of no return when you lose them. She had married; divorced; had 2 kids with an older divorcee; enjoyed dating multiple partners & permitted them to stay overnight & in 2007 she remarried. He dun have a good marriage and thus treat me very good and lovingly.All these years with him, I always remind myself he is a married man and I cant get myself into this rs( relationship) . So I was wondering if indeed her relationship with the guy is not that serious. things were not perfect but the chemitry was there, we had fun and now he has gone back home. But not even giving it a go is just ridiculous! A complicated story. He tends to not see his fault in things and blames me for our issues. He claims his phone gets slow when chats accumulate. Although being a part the past couple of days Im not feeling the love I had for him before, I feel its fading and even though I know I want him in my life I cant fight the urge that I think Im slowly losing feelings but I dont want to let him go. Instead, when we start a relationship in a state of being somewhat on empty then instead of looking for what we can give to the other person, we are always feeling in some way neglected and missing something. When a marriage is filled with anger, dysfunction, conflict, and even hate, it seems plausible and even reasonable that it should and will end in divorce. I said no we need to talk it out. That is exactly what young people do. she broke up with me 6 weeks ago and it really made me realise how much of a douche i was and how much i love her. At the moment, I dont want to stay in the marriage because of him, I only want to stay in the marriage because of the impact on the wider family and also I really love my stepchildren we have day-to-day care of them, I spend more time with them than their biological parents do, and I dont want to lose them from my life. We have lived together for the majority of it. It was to a point where I began to question everything he did and started looking through his phone every so often (which I know I should not have done). I want to be the rock she can lean on.. Half of me wants to leave and explore the world while Im still young in which I will only have the clothes on my back and no ties to anyone or anything in the present time..the other half is wanting to work things out and earn his trust that just may never come back, to brave the constant shame and disappointment from the world around me. 5 months into the relationship I found out he was messaging other girls when we were only dating for 3 months, when I confronted him about it he begged and pleaded and after a couple of days apart we spoke about it. He is always there for me till one day he gives up when he see the ring . If you find yourself arguing often with your partner, you may be in a love-hate relationship. Doing everything herself, w/o you? What can I do? It looks to me like she felt YOU didnt care about her. If you have a need to talk, then you are still insecure. It keeps me in business ;-). except now I feel like he has betrayed me again in the way that he made a promise to me about going on a trip with me for my birthday then right out from underneath me he tells me oh by the way I cant come with you because Im going with my friend on a trip instead like he never wanted to go with just promised me that for no reason. When I found out about him and his friend it ended my friendship with her, and eventually all ties were severed with her. But it kept happening. I love him and always will but I want to feel the same way I did when it all began but I just dont and I just cant, Ive tried for so long to get that spark back but I think the damage is done and im beyond the point of recovery here. Meaning, is your bf more assured? It is easy enough to see how love and hate can coexist in cases of unreciprocated love. You are attracted to and feeling repulsed by the person you just started seeing. When I look at him, I just see a liar who was so arrogant that the safety of my daughter was jeopardised. Before that, I had told her my ex contacted me and I was transparent about the details of our conversation. I dont like that. I hate that the one I love hurt me so bad that its hard to love myself. You just graduated HS. Something just snapped in my husband and he tipped out of the bed suddenly, knocking my bedside table over in the process. I now feel un appreciated, alone, unwanted unloved and betrayed and yet I still love her and though she doesnt believe me, I tell her the easiest part of moving on his forgiving her, but that we need help if we truly want to get thru this. She was already rather fragile to begin with. You are torn because it would be good to keep the relationship but the feelings just arent there. I was lonely. The few times I have seen her I dont get any feeling that she misses me at all. She was the most amazing person to me. She cried a few tears as did I because I believe we wanted this to work out. I cant lose her! I want to make things better, but I have been hurt most recently. I love him so much, I feel I lost my best friend but I have to respect myself. i just wanted to know from the good doctor, We also had dinner with his sisters and her(the same one he wrote) and I didnt even know she was an ex. I know that we each individually have to work on ourselves and make progress but the way she is dealing with things right now I wonder if there is a future for us. Plan fun activities to do together. So, here I am, still praying and hoping to find a way to help him open his heart and let me inbut it seems to be blocked by all the hurt and suffering and he does not believe he can love me again. He wants to be with me but he thinks he will cheat on me again and again. There was a gorgeous movie I once saw in Chinese (I think) with English subtitles: Hang the Red Lantern (or something like that). I also believe I will find true love (which I did with her). Do you see that? My husband felt he had fulfilled his part but I was slacking with my end. No need for me to jump back in so quickly. Please help! Id get so mad because shed play games with me and Id lose my head. Again, my head understands that we tried that (being together to fix things) and nothing changed. It drives me crazy that I cannot prove absolutely everything to him that Im faithful only to him. What can I do? His take was that this man had no right to join a group of friends. "Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.". Ive had a very similar experience when i was married with kids. Dr. Deb, Dr.Deb, So she went back home I tried to communicate with her and work through problems. Yet, of course, there is an equal fear of being alone, so the couple sets up rules just like the one you and your hubby seem to have: dont leave, but dont be too close either. Im so heartbroken I dont know if i should let him goi cannot go on feeling this way.I used to be a happy go lucky person. You can find a therapist or counselor in your area by using our website. After all this time and so much love? Dear Dr, I was hurt & disillusioned. I dont know why I didnt just back off in that original argument, I guess I felt I should be accepted for who I am, that my presence with her at the wedding was what she should deem most important. He loves me and I get moments of deep sadness because of what Ive doneplease help me because I regret it all and I love him so much.I feel tortured. PLEASE HELP!! I think we go back to the sexy part: Be INDEPENDENT, not dependent, emotionally, when you talk to him. My problems is that we grew apart, hardly had any sex, didnt talk about things more than day to day stuff and were more like room mates in the past 3 years. We are both in our early 20s and I think Im too young to have this kind of stress in my life and so is he. Ive been exercising and eating healthy. But if you made a habit of lying and getting caught, that would explain why your ex hates you. Your girlfriends friend is not the right person. I am broken and dont know where to go from here. So, here is my honest opinion: A. I was convinced he was cheating on me because he even had a picture of himself and the same girl as his wallpaper. I was ignoring her and thinking that she just needed to grow up and be a stronger woman! Long story short. Hi Kim His answer would always be no and that he wont hurt me and that Im being crazy and that Im the only one he wants , but things wasnt adding up and I wouldnt let up. It is really important that the counselor be specifically trained in MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY. Trying to figure out how to bring back that love joy happiness back. (red flag 3). Take her to the park for some fresh air Started doing activities with them and really enjoying myself. I hit below the belt a lot but I can own the fact that I took him for granted but he also took me for granted. I confronted him and I was absolutely done but I was still in a lot of pain and he then would send me long messages every morning (like this one ) trying to apologie and asking for one more chance and etc it was a huge blow out. This was an extremely helpful article. I just dont know what to do. As much as I love her, shes making me sick. If the problem was your lying, then the question is: why did you feel a need to lie? Now all I have left is regret and a life without him in it. Still, cheating is cheating. I agreebut this article is about loving after betrayal. I have not let go of the good him and thats what I been holding on to I know what he is now and i have so many emotions and I feel like I can save him or should I say my heart tells me to save him and my mind knows he is gone I hate that Im in this situation and my family has cut me off for marrying him and Im ashamed to talk about it to my friends around me but they know heroin is really bad in ky right now and they ask me all time why is he always loaded Im just trying to get mentally unwind from him and I just exploding on the inside. Therapy helps and , as I said earlier, I recommend it. It was our anniversary the other day and he didnt say or even do anything, so I didnt remind him at 10 pm on valentines day I got a, oh its valentines day, happy valentines day babe, ha ha I beat you. Dated some but nothing serious. But at the same time it is hard to give her that. As he is, he is a safety risk for your kids. I dont get it. I loved her. I dont think so. You can't just go back to life before you knew them. He was still arguing and I phoned the police. Her attitude changed a lot. Hi millie my name is sherrel, I am in the same situation as you are in. Confront them, because thats what love is. Every time I got my hopes up that he was changing reality would slap me in the face. He also said that if he didnt cheat, I would have been the one to cheat. We all go through hell. She takes pain pills for diseases she has, and ive known that for years, but for whatever reason, my subconscious compulsive mind led me to do it. This is so unlike him. In 2013 I went to a funeral with him I got a chance to be introduced to his family member all went well. He was never physically unfaithful, not even emotionally he more so entertained the idea, which in my mind is just as bad because it could lead to anything. Ask questions about where shes been or what she wants to do next Shes been cursing me since last Thursday final cut off. I believe my husband is bipolar. Hes even thinking about ending everything. Started feeding us the same words/lines simultaneously. My wife was self employed for 7 years and had serious ups and downs with her income. Then a month later his grandfather died and he was really close with him. He broke up with me while he was overwhelmed trying to take care of me. Now he told me he is not in love with me and feels nothing for me. Before giving up on the marriage, she should give that a try. But I didnt tell him that. I gave her little i could unfortunately despite the fact that i vowed not to give her anymore. Of course we got back together but he left me another 2 times after. Reviewed by Ekua Hagan. The second time he said something was missing, there was no chemistry and that someone from work was in his mind, a girl he liked prior to knowing me. I dont know if it was planned or not, doesnt matter. We go to a therapist , but it breaks my heart that he wants to keep trying and I do too but Im not feeling anything. He is very loud and comes with a whole load of annoying habits and thats even before you take into account his inability to emotionally connect. He seems to become more distant and cold every time he sees me sad and anxious. He started talking to a 22 year old in South Dakota through Skype. Then, I basically told him that I was fed up him, were broken up, and that hes free to go do whatever he wants, and Ill do the same. I left comment here before about my ex girlfriend who got pregnant for her best friend while we were together. A few months after the incident we resumed our relationship. And still she SAYS IM not UNDERSTANDING much, I am can you love someone again after hating them the same time is. 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